ONLINE CATALOG

hey, we’re making a calender to sell (and use) at HBML. if you want me to put your birthday on it, i’ll do it, but you have to promise to buy one (it will be in the $3 - $5 range). just email me or leave a comment in this post. internuts and other (US) far-aways can also join in, as the calender will be in our new online store section, dropping in the first full week of the new year.

also, we’re open this week regular hours. regular daily webpage posts… tomorrowish.

in case you couldn’t tell, we’re on a “a few days” webpage hiatus while we celebrate the holidays in our standard fashion- playing craps for accumulated pocket change, shooting bb guns, eating garbage, and watching dumb movies. no place like home for the holidays…

here’s boston’s own matty cupcakes sporting what we think is a tammy faye baker mask, which he subsequently bought. “hours of entertainment” said he, which if fine as long as he includes us out.

spooky mask - SOLD (to matty cupcakes)

the body is a great doom metal band from providence (originally from little rock). they are the loudest band i’ve ever seen, and one of the slowest as well, and additionally they are total teddybears. they came to the store last week to check it out and drop some stuff off, then me and ML went back to rhode island with them to watch left behind (the kirk cameron movie about the rapture) and eat pancakes with fake, vegan bacon (which looked like huge strips of chewing gum printed with a bacon design on a food printer). it was great, it was like two weird futures that are also both the unmistakable present. lee is the drummer and he’s also the DJ in lorna doom, which is a rap act named after a punk bassist named after a cookie. chip is the guitar player and he’s also in the solo drone act “siege engine” and the yet-to-be-realized “timothy leary” rap persona (screaming in a li’l jon way, but more hoarse, and with no rhymes). in addition to the above items, lee (”dj glorious monster”) left us with some of his mix cds- one that’s all miami bass, one of african funk.

in addition to liking weird religious cult shit, they also really like pogs, and were really excited to see that all the talk about pogs finally sublimated into actual physical pogs.

lee, we need some of those jim jones “this world is not my home” t-shirts!

lorna doom slipmats for your turntable - $5
the body cds - $8

hear mp3s on their myspaces:
the body
lorna doom

inter-nerds buy both bands’ records direct from corleone records

we get these condoms from aids project worcester, which is a great resource with lots of great people working there (hi jesse!). i guess a big box full of condoms is a pretty funny thing when you’re in a weird junk store with a group of friends, but what people really bug out over is the female condom. people take them all the time but i don’t think anyone has the guts to actually use one. wise guys take them and play like they’re going to insist on it. but judging from popular response, female condom = sex edsel. but i’m not discouraging anyone– even the edsel had it’s merits. anyway, if you need them, take them, no shame there.

oh, and if you’re going to APW to get a free test (which is good to do just so it isn’t a big deal), keep your eyes peeled for a really good spraypaint drawing of a helicopter on the road leading up. i don’t know who did it but it’s really cute.

aids project worcester

i know where these crazy ties come from- people’s dads. but where do they go when dad gets wise and scraps the lot? some got sewn into the legs of jeans in a short-lived 90s fad. others less fortunate are destined to get used in halloween “loud white guy” costumes. this sighful eye-full might harbor a future hair-ribbon, quilt piece, tourniquet, or colorful lasso, but many of it’s ilk will only ever get dusty. billy blue bought one the other day and wore it to a gig- the tie had buttonholes in the smaller end so you could button it to your shirt and not have it fly all over hell. he asked and i ask too, why don’t all ties do this? also he wanted to know what the deal was with small / skinny ties, namely, why would you ever wear a fat tie. i called jenine for a tie width chronology, but she was away from her phone. jenine, when are fat ties coming back in? and why?

ties - $1 per

billy blue

jenine bressner

mike t is a good guy with an occasional beard and colorful permanent tattoos that are curious and mysterious and not ha ha funny. scenery is the zine he has published for over 10 years, it’s always good and the past few issues have had a lot of contributors, but it works out because mike has only good friends. he also publishes a best-of-sketchbook zine called “monkey vision” which is the best of it’s type no contest, always funny and mean and confusing. mike doesn’t have a page on wikipedia (yet) but his old band is mentioned in the article about the joke-turned-real genre “emo violence“, which brings it back to cameo! word up, mike t!

scenery 19 - $2

hey everyone, HBML is hosting a shoebox diorama exhibit in february 2007. depending on how many we get they will either be on display on the wall in the store or in the windows facing out. if you want to make a diorama for the show, let’s do it! full info…
(more info…)

my neighbor esther is a nice lady, a weird dresser with bright hair, and i don’t need to tell you that i very nearly spit when i learned that she grew up on the carnival. yes, the carnival– shilling shitty trinkets to accommodating parents of garden-variety brats (”baby cry, mommy buy”), riding the egg scrambler for free, elephant ears for breakfast, corn dogs for lunch, knowing the angles, shouting “hey rube!”, etc.. so how is it possible, with all that and funny hair and tiny zoobomber bikes, skinned knees and dumpster diving, i ask you how is it possible that she did not know the bikini kill song “carnival”? i mean, we still like her- she’s great- but this new knowledge casts everything in a weird light, right?

anyway our stalwart pal kasey henniman’s got her priorities straight and made these BK-inspired mirrors, one of which we have here, for the winner of a particularly difficultsimple carnival-style game.

“i’ll win that motley crue mirror if it fucking kills me!”

motley crue mirror- 1 life of trying

bikini kill - carnival (mp3)

zoobomb on wikipedia

this is a pretty good example of the sort of “cheap laffs” we enjoy- a simple premise elevated by flawed reasoning and poor execution to the level of total sweaty-eyed wishing wanting searching, with good packaging. reason enough to feature this item on the website, but not, and i am hesitant to say this, not the reason this item is hanging on our store wall. this tiny package is there so that one day someone will say to us “rubber nuts?”, and we will respond classically, in the manner of statesmen, princes, pharaohs, and other creeps, back through history, and all the way backwards to infinity, then through infinity, and from the end of everything back to now. there is a view of time which is centered around the actor– larry bird shit-talking as usual, larry bird steals the ball, bird with the three; there is also a version of time (proposed by borges) which is centered around the action- magic johnson is spud webb is dee brown is larry johnson is vince carter… sssssslam d-d-d-d-d-dunk. it is in this manner that i will most assuredly become shakespeare, cervantes, homer, proust, dickinson, baldwin, lao tzu, dante, borges himself, and a host of others, upon immediate receipt of this legendary verbal exchange.

rubber nuts - $.75