ONLINE CATALOG

did you guys see any of those leprechaun movies? i did. i saw all six of them, in order, over a three-week span with my friend melissa number one. i’m not about to say any given movie was better than, oh, i don’t know, hiroshima mon amour. but i definitely had a good time. some notes:

• the leprechaun’s powers change in every movie, and they change by orders of magnitude- in some he can alter reality and transmute the elements, in some he’s just really mean. at first this made me mad, then i was into it.
• leprechuan 3 (or maybe 2) has this part where the leprechaun can marry this pretty lady if she sneezes three times and no one says “god bless you”. i don’t know, this really creeped me out.
• leprechaun 4 (leprechaun in space) i liked because it seems like a generic space monster movie in which they decided to make the monster a leprechaun. but nobody in the film even knows anything about leprechauns, so it’s not ridiculous to them. there’s no explanation of what a leprechaun is doing on mars (or wherever they are). ok, i don’t remember a lot about this movie, but i do remember that he has a laser shillelagh, and no one (not even the leprechaun) says “laser shillelagh”. if you had that, why would you sleep on it so bad?
• there are two movies in the series that take place “in tha hood” (those being leprechaun 5: leprechaunz in tha hood” and “leprechaun: back 2 tha hood”). you might think that “return” is going to be a lot better, because it has coolio in it, but really, coolio only walks by in the background, he could have even not realized he was being filmed. also, “return” doesn’t have the leprechaun smoking a blunt with four-leaf clovers in it, getting trapped in a safe and saying “from the depths of hell i call thee, me zombie fly-girls”. or… maybe it does. sorry, can’t remember!

in any event, these little baskets might work to trap a leprechuan, but i can’t guarantee that. in fact, i really doubt it- as far as i can tell the faerie folk always come out on top. anyway the traps will definitely work to make you feel a little safer against impending leprechaun attacks, assuming you either 1), didn’t read this paragraph or 2), had you mind erased after doing so.

leprechaun entrapments $.50

warwick davis on imdb.com

mind eraser:

• 2 oz Vodka

• 2 oz Kahlua
• 2 oz Tonic water

in a rocks glass pour vodka, the Kahlua and then the tonic water. Serve with a straw.