ONLINE CATALOG

the press release:

this tuesday is the 13th of may.

at HBML from 6 - 9 there will be an art show opening featuring xander marro, of the famous feminist perfomence troupe “the dirt palace” ( http://www.dirtpalace.org ). in addition to the display of works on paper, xander is making a special limited edition edition of bar soap for ready sale. there will also be snacks, probably hydrox cookies, and some sort of juice or soda or vegetable milk, and dvds will be playing in such a way that it is hard to pay attention to them. if you were to ask me what the artwork is going to look like, i would guess bonnets, spiderwebs, up-dos, poisoners, carnivals, dust, and 1890s mustaches. if the guy that fixed the plumbing last year is reading this, this is that lady whose fuzzy books you liked.

HBML is an all-ages establishment with enemies in the establishment, and as such, we ask that any wine you bring be cleverly disguised as something else, and if a child asks for a ssip, you say “i have a terrible cold”.

HBML is at 420 pleasant st worcester ma 01609.

you know, there’s been a lot of hullaballoo in the art world lately regarding the provinances of various bodily fluids used in certain high-profile works. to assuage the doubts of all private collectors and institutions, HBML independently verifies all artworks containing human genetic material. that means that every feces-adorned painting, every licked envelope, and every piss-doused crucifix comes with a bankable guarantee as to the identity of the donor, and their lifestyle, and what they ate previous to the act of creation. DO OTHER GALLERIES OFFER THIS GUARANTEE? no, they do not. WHY NOT? they say “it doesn’t matter”. huh. nice of them to decide for YOU what matters in YOUR LIFE, don’t you think?

also, a few boxes still remain of Mike Taylor’s groundbreaking art cereal “liberty hysteria cereal”, and will be on sale until totally sold or mouse-eaten. email back to reserve yours. each box is $15 and contains no less than five of mike t’s lugubrious arm hairs, each with a light patina of dr bronner’s and jittery mansweat.