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our pal sylvan can crack every vertebrae in her back in a row and in one fell swoop. i don’t have to tell you that it’s one of the worst things i’ve ever heard. i half-expected to see her skeleton step gingerly out of her skin and drape the skin on a chair- what i’m trying to say is that the experience gave me palpitations. anyway homegirl made us a mess of these nice earrings that are somehow lucky. they look nice, you wear them.

lucky jewelry $7 (lucky price!)

jen mcmahon gave us all these dracula teeth and bunny teeth. jen mcmahon, how did you know? what i always point out to people is that the dracula teeth glow in the dark, and the bunny teeth don’t, but glow-in-the-dark bunnies are a reality, and draculas (i’m going to turn some heads here) aren’t.

teef- $.50.

alba, the GFP bunny

montague summers on wikipedia

we got some of these things in the other day and like any other thing that i don’t really know what to do with it, i classified it as a “wearable”. these soft plastic geometric craps are the product of a brief fad from the 90s- you lay special plastic beads out on a studded grid, then iron them and they fuse together, leaving you with a gridded design that has absolutely no practical value. while it’s possible that these litter the “mom’s attic” landscape of north america, it’s also quite likely that these were immediately sussed out as total worthlessness, and discarded while still warm, guiltlessly. to me, these things are interesting because they play on the intersection between the deerpath of traditional crafts like cross-stitch and quilting (which are indicators of a certain type of care, pride, and as such, value) and the 4 lane highway of soft fast petrochemical shit.  also there’s the idea of millions of 8-year-olds simultaneously plotting out these geometric designs and huffing hot plastic off the iron. whoever made these particular examples had either a crude hand or a artist’s eye, because one side is way more melted than the other, which is cool (this effect is most visible in the picture on the boxy number in the top left). in an effort to rectify this horrible misuse of resources with the new-psychedelia, arthur magazine, god’s eye crowd, let’s say that these are diamonds hand crafted by beautiful children of their own volition out of the souls of plants and animals that died in the forests and plains and oceans of thousands of years ago, and let’s not forget that they will be on this earth long long long after we’re gone. $1.50

ok, studded belts may have blown up, to the point that 80% of people who wear studded belts nowadays do not identify as punk, but that’s just a fad and studded shit still rules. some people will get a ton and pour them all onto one totally buck item of clothing (usually a jacket). me, i like to scatter them throughout my wardrobe, one here, a few there, like bedbugs. also like bedbugs, you probably do not want to put them on your pajamas. but far be it from me to tell you how to play bedtime couture. we carry both pyramid and conical studs, because if you have just pyramids, which have a square base, you’re locked into a grid pattern. with the conical studs you can do whatever the fuck kind of dithering pattern you prefer. ESSENTIAL. $.07 each, or 10 for $.50 .