ONLINE CATALOG

da press release:

hey!
this saturday HBML radical junk shoppe / fake gallery / noise universe will be hosting one of it’s acclaimed silk screening events WHEREIN you, a participant, bring in a garment, flag, or burial shroud, and we apply directly and permanently an image of our predetermined choice WHILE U WAIT. this saturday from 2 to 5, the image is going to be a massive drawing of an owl.

viewed as an emblem of knowledge and erudition, also a harbinger of death, the owl is the mascot of grey-eyed athena, warrior goddess of philosophy, strategy, and metal work, and inventor of the olive. i have no idea why, but people ask all the time whether we sell anything with owls on it, outshining by orders of magnitude the next most
popular requests, which are in order: jesus, popeye, tweety bird. there’s a thoreau quote on the popularity of owls… let’s see… “Let them do the idiotic and maniacal hooting for men. It is a sound admirably suited to swamps and twilight woods which no day illustrates, suggesting a vast and underdeveloped nature which [humanity] has not recognized”. i guess that goes for jesus, popeye, and tweety bird as well.

anyway, it’s this saturday (the 30th) from 2 to 5, it costs $5 per print. if you don’t want the owl screened on a clothing item, we can screen a massive sticker for you, big enough to really piss someone off. we’re also having a massive clothing sale, most items $1 minimum donation. there will also be free coffee.

HBML is at 420 pleasant st worcester ma 01609

famous painter and interior decorator gary panter raves “[HBML] sounds neat!”
acclaimed 21st century novelist dave eggers says “[HBML] [is] OK.”

directions can be given from the shop to the super-delicious verycheap bootleg vegan chinese underground (shadow economy) restaurant DUCK YAO.

if you’ve been meaning to come to the shoppe, now’s a great time, as we totally don’t have any money, or anyway not enough for next month’s rent, not nearly. please, tell your pals!

also, in re: the cosby show idea, we have put filming on hold until october, when it’s do or die and we have to finish for sure, before november’s scheduled “JFK days”.

not a lie from my mouth

jacob
hbml
hbml.org

ps- saturday’s design will also feature jesus, popeye, and tweety bird, but really tiny.

oh yah, and we’re doing two screens- one with black ink, one with white ink, so bring whatever the hell color damn shirt you f-word want!

every week or so i paint everything on this shelf a different color, trying to figure out which is the color that sells the best. so far it isn’t lavender, bright green, sky blue, or mint. the shoes look pretty sweet though– right after i painted these i painted my own:

that’s tite, rite?

the deadline is september 1st for the second annual HBML shoebox diorama competition. last year ruled, and in an effort to up the ante, this year the winner gets a $200 cash prize. as the gif above clearly states, “no joke”.

as in last year’s competition, the dioramas will be stacked one on top of another in our windows, in a brick wall fashion. bearing this in mind, remember that all dioramas must be in a box the size of a shoebox, they should be side- and not top-view, they must be totally contained within the box (nothing on the sides or top, or jutting out in front, or dripping underneath). heavier entries will be stacked towards the bottom so please try to make them structurally sound. batteries are ok, wall plugs are not. there will be glass between the viewer (on the street) and the diorama (inside, in the window), so nothing interactive in a button-pushing way. also, i cannot be expected to turn things on and off every day. also, really glue everything down solid- if something falls we won’t know how to put it back together- we are idiots.

we will be collecting dioramas from now until september first, which is a serious deadline. in addition to the grand prize, there will be silver and bronze prizes, and lesser (or “booby”) prizes, including famousest entrant and best bribe. if you are shipping us your diorama please realize that we probably can’t ship them back, but we will try to hold them for pickup until well after the competition ends. or you can authorize us to sell them and keep the money.

any other questions leave a comment or email jacob at fujichia dot crom

these things weren’t selling in their original colors so i thought i’d try something new. but i guess no one likes mint green… anyway i’ll be changing the color every week until i find the optimal color for:

dudes, mike benedetti made a serious power play in the squid raffle, picking up $100 worth of tickets just by himself. meanwhile, western mass is still pushing with several members of a single household going for it. the raffle closes on the 19th, it’s still anyone’s game, and we are still miles away from our goal of $400. let’s make this happen! tickets are $5 for 6 or $10 for 14. squid raffle squid raffle squid raffle!!!!!!!

the new HBML shirts are now finally online-orderable via the fledgling Fujichia Online Ordering Manifold. so everyone that’s been clamoring about internet t-shirts, cease clamoring (or change your clamor-tune)! these beautiful shirts are 100% cotton, $20 postpaid, designed by mel soter, hand printed by us for us, and only available in LAVENDER.

also, we’re signing people up for the next installment of the HBML rent club. it’s $30 this time, and features prints from nik “hulk out” perry, scott “work/death” reber, and matthew “ambergris” thurber. you can sign up at the store, but it’s even better if you sign up on the internet (easier bookkeeping). there’s only 50 slots available, so don’t sleep on this! thanks for keeping us alive!

i’m not too into excuses, but my $40 digital camera has proved it’s salt by shitting the bed. sooooo, if anyone out there has a digital camera to give away, that’s something i’d be into. in the mean time, i wonder if you, my community, could ssend me your pictures of things from the store. you know, dressin’ that dress, hattin’ that hat, poggin’ that pog… HARD REPPIN’. email me the pictures- jacob (a) fujichia (.) com. or put them on your flickr or myspace and give me the heads-up buddy. the pictures don’t have to look “profesh”, they can be phonecam or whatever. i guess the picture above isn’t a good example. unless you’re looking for a good example of something that happens in my brain a billion times a second.

this is a pretty good example of the sort of “cheap laffs” we enjoy- a simple premise elevated by flawed reasoning and poor execution to the level of total sweaty-eyed wishing wanting searching, with good packaging. reason enough to feature this item on the website, but not, and i am hesitant to say this, not the reason this item is hanging on our store wall. this tiny package is there so that one day someone will say to us “rubber nuts?”, and we will respond classically, in the manner of statesmen, princes, pharaohs, and other creeps, back through history, and all the way backwards to infinity, then through infinity, and from the end of everything back to now. there is a view of time which is centered around the actor– larry bird shit-talking as usual, larry bird steals the ball, bird with the three; there is also a version of time (proposed by borges) which is centered around the action- magic johnson is spud webb is dee brown is larry johnson is vince carter… sssssslam d-d-d-d-d-dunk. it is in this manner that i will most assuredly become shakespeare, cervantes, homer, proust, dickinson, baldwin, lao tzu, dante, borges himself, and a host of others, upon immediate receipt of this legendary verbal exchange.

rubber nuts - $.75

sometime back in june a nice lady came in and put $5 down on this tortured painting by little andrew (priced at $15). it’s still here but i can’t be mad at the lady because she’s got it all figured out. when you put (and keep) something on layaway, you pay a fraction of the price and whatever it is is yours forever in perfect condition- no matter how fussy your baby is, creamed corn will never mar this fine painting’s faraway surface. it’s a ballsy and peculiar move, but whatever works, lady!

painting by little andrew - $5 quasi-ownership