ONLINE CATALOG

a kid: do you have iron maiden t-shirts in kid’s sizes?
me: no, sorry buddy.
kid: oh, when are you getting them in? (NB: this is apropo of nothing)
me: next week. buuuuuuut, they’re weird. it says “iron maiden” in the font, and it has eddie, buuuuuuuuut… uh…
kid: is eddie holding a hatchet dripping with blood?
me: no, he’s like, drinking a milkshake or something.

well, ok, it’s not a milkshake, it’s an ice cream cone, but still that’s pretty good service, right?

by popular demand, and because it’s the end of the month and we have totally no money for rent (really bad), we are selling this t-shirt on the internet. the shirt is white with a black and green design. it is $20 postage paid to the continental US. please paypal the money to: jacob at fujichia dot commmmmmmmmmmmmm. be sure and list size preference: on this one we can do youth small all the way to XXL. the shirts are white, but if you don’t like mint chocolate chip (the tim mcveigh special) we can color in the ice cream orange sherbet.

oh, and we’re also selling t-shirts with this popular image on it:

the image is printed in black and the shirts are like mustard yellow. like the “eddie ice cream” shirts they are also available in sizes from youth small to XXL, and they are also $20 post paid to the conty US. again, just paypal the money to: jacob at fujichia dot calm and we’ll ship them out early next week.

SOLD OUT

remember to specify which shirt you want and what size(s).

oh, and if you just want to slime us with a donation, now is a really good time to do so, in any amount.

WIN ONE OF THESE SQUIDS IN A RAFFLE to support the junk shoppe.

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6 tickets for $5: RAFFLE OVER

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14 tickets for $10:
RAFFLE OVER

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WHAT IS A GIANT SQUID the giant squid is a squid that is very large and it lives in the ocean. there are a lot of them, and they can eat anything and they can go a long time without eating and they can survive in any temperature and basically they are awesome.

i made three life size giant squid stuffed animals in 2005 for an installation at the famous art space the dirt palace in providence RI. here is the webiste for that project. i did this after or maybe during my 365 days of stuffed animals project, but anyway, separate from that. if you’ve ever been to the junk shoppe and looked up, you would see one of these squids ready to descend on you and eat your entire face, or scrape the skin off your arms by accident, or do something horrible with a completely vacant expression. we are raffling off one of the squids, and selling raffle tickets over the internet. i’m not going to tell you how to live your life, but i think it would be in everyone’s best interest if you bought a few tickets, really as much as you can afford, so that you have the best likelihood of winning the raffle, and then you can wrestle with one of these ungainly fellows whenever the mood for obliteration strikes.

HOW DO I WIN THE SQUID IN A RAFFLE the drawing will be held at the store on january 19th, but you don’t have to be present to win– you will be notified by email. also you don’t have to come to worcester to get it- we can ship it to you (but it will arrive unstuffed (but you can stuff it with anything– an air mattress, some foam scraps, even a living person (but not me– i’ve paid my dues))). tickets are $5 for 6, or $10 for 14.
here is a picture of me with it, albeit in an overstuffed state, and remember that i’m very tall– well outside of medical and societal norms:

here is some nice picture for your computer wallpaper background.

OK! here’s the tickets again, and remember this is to support HBML junk shoppe, the best store to ever exist, way better than the shop in zelda:

RAFFLE OVER!

please allow yourself to admit to yourself that your life would be provably awesomer if you had this epic piece of wrestle-withable soft sculpture. THANK YOU

the new HBML shirts are now finally online-orderable via the fledgling Fujichia Online Ordering Manifold. so everyone that’s been clamoring about internet t-shirts, cease clamoring (or change your clamor-tune)! these beautiful shirts are 100% cotton, $20 postpaid, designed by mel soter, hand printed by us for us, and only available in LAVENDER.

also, we’re signing people up for the next installment of the HBML rent club. it’s $30 this time, and features prints from nik “hulk out” perry, scott “work/death” reber, and matthew “ambergris” thurber. you can sign up at the store, but it’s even better if you sign up on the internet (easier bookkeeping). there’s only 50 slots available, so don’t sleep on this! thanks for keeping us alive!

and if you told me to put your birthday in, i probably did. i forgot to put in holidays though, all i got was halloween and the day of the st patrick’s day parade. anyway if you want one they are $5 on the internet from fujichia online ordering mechanism (FOOM). or wing by the store, where they cost less (that’s how it goes, mang).

also, big ups to mike bell smith, nperks and DRM for big-upping us on the internet players ball that is year in the internet 2006! chirp chirp! hey mike, me and ML played actual (not virtual) POGs for the first time the other day at the store and we got super into it and these high school girls were laughing at us and we were like “fuck you guys, we’re poggggggggggggggin’!”.

oh, and while lots of new eyeballs are reading this now (maybe), i should say that it is by no means too late to get started on a shoebox diorama for our dioramarama! the deadline is the 20th of january, which really means any time before the 1st. anyone can participate, and yes, there will be prizes awarded. and if you submit a diorama you will be able to put on your CV that you were in a group show with ben jones‘ dad. for realllllllllllllll. full information just follow the link above.